The Dichotomy of Two Loves

By: Maureen

I’ve spent a lifetime learning many crafts. I’ve sewn my own clothes, pocketbooks, and drapes.  In the ’70s, many a plant resided in hanging macrame holders. I’ve knitted countless blankets and scarves. While I have versed myself in many endeavors, I’m currently attempting to master only two; crocheting and writing.

My love for crochet started as a child when my grandmother taught me the joining of yarn and hook. I’m not sure the initial pull wasn’t having her undivided attention for those precious hours. Growing up in a large family sometimes left a deficit in one on one attention. I looked forward to that time with my Grandma Anthony, and I began to view that one implement activity as something riddled with possibility.

The hook, which dates back to the 1500s, comes in endless colors and can be made of cool steel or warm wood, or even an easy-to-handle plastic.

Modern-day crocheters call themselves just that or crafters. Some call themselves hookers, but that connotation throws me off a bit.

Its partner yarn can vary in texture from coarse and itchy to soft and silky velveteen. The beautiful hues of each skein equal the breadth of a Benjamin Moore color wheel.

The marriage of hook and skein provide me with two things. I enjoy the endless hours of relaxation along with the anticipated joy the end product will ultimately bring to someone. Crochet stimulates an urge in me. These implements of comfort and joy make me feel good,  relaxed, and productive. It is something I love to do.

Over the years, many new tiny family members were welcomed home from the hospital swaddled in the handmade treasures; birthdays and holiday gifts morphed into starfish studded mermaid tails and colorful octopuses. One green and white afghan even traveled to eternity in the casket of my mom.  Before her death, she said, “Reen, you know I’m always so cold. I want my blanket with me”.

Blankets woven together mirror life and are not without mistakes. Sometimes you inadvertently skip or add stitches, and the project is riddled with imperfections. If it is just wrong, you could pull it apart and start new with a completely different pattern.  Sometimes it is perfect as it is.

Crochet can be relaxing and monotonous or stimulating and challenging; like life, it depends on the road you choose.

And then there is writing a memoir.

While most pour their hearts out on a computer, I prefer a pen and paper for the first draft. A simple BIC pen and a yellow, lined legal pad, both circa 1951, are just fine with me.

Once you write, you can be called a writer. It is only when published that you can call yourself an author. 

The union of the pen to paper produces anxiety instead of relaxation. It stirs memories, pulls out emotions, and often breaks your heart all over again. It forces you to look inside that safe box of denial. You are compelled to revisit decisions of your past, good and bad. In the trepidation of putting pen to paper, parts of your life become real and open to judgment. Judgment can come from those that love you as well as those who don’t.

While writing a memoir, if truthful, is filled with fear, pain, self-reflection, and sometimes regret. There is also joy. Like a warm blanket, it covers you with the satisfaction of being human and creating something that could help someone else because you came out the other side, whole, stronger, resilient and happy! 

Like yarn and hook, paper and pen also produce an end result.  It allowed me to honor a dear friend with an eloquent eulogy. After that weekend-long Irish wake and painful goodbye,  I wrote a letter to every friend I loved. Over the years, there were love letters written as well as sticky notes of encouragement in my son’s lunch box. Decades of corporate emails were composed for congratulating successful staff members or action plans for those that needed improvements. Signing my name to paychecks of hundreds of employees over the years gave me a great sense of pride and accomplishment when I owned my business.

So herein lies the problem.

If I follow my heart, my impulse is to crochet something beautiful and useful. If I follow my dream, I’ll pick up my pen and continue editing towards the goal of finishing my book.

If I ever want to be called an author, I’ll have to stop being a hooker.

30 Comments

  1. Leslie

    I love this – especially your style. The last line caught me by surprise – excellent!

    Reply
    • Paula Jones

      -Your writing is soft and comforting. Love your style and where it takes me as I read it.

      Reply
      • Nancy

        A nice relaxing read!! Very down to earth!

        Reply
  2. Mike

    We were all hooked with imperfections. Those imperfections are where our humor and compassion come from.
    Keep going forward girl!

    Reply
  3. Janice

    I love the correlation between writing and crocheting. Your thoughts, emotions, and humor flow beautifully. Can’t wait to read more. ?

    Reply
  4. Heather

    I’m hooked! I can’t wait to read more.

    Reply
  5. JA

    Your writing is like poetry…it can be read over and over and each time I gather more beauty. And then, you come out of nowhere with that ending – Laughing Out Loud!

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Thank you so much!!

      Reply
  6. Barbara

    Your writing is very relatable and fun, like you. Looking forward to your book publishing. I know you only as one who presses through and succeeds in whatever life hands you – here’s to you and this new venture!

    Reply
  7. Claire

    Beautiful analogy and so well written. Looking forward to more!

    Reply
  8. Claire

    I was pulled in and “hooked “ on your style of writing.

    Reply
  9. Annette Loiselle

    Just love your writing style. You’re such an inspiration, my dear life long friend. Cant wait to read more!

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Thank you for your neverending support, my dear friend!

      Reply
  10. Connie Ross Ciampanelli

    I was sent to your website by our mutual friend Annette. She strongly suggested that I would love your writing, and she was right.
    I am well able to relate to your essay on both the love of stitching and writing and their relationship to each other, as I have been an avid cross stitcher for nearly forty years and also am a writer (and author!).

    Your ability to relay emotion with pen and paper are sure signs that your forthcoming memoir will be engaging and enthralling. I look forward to its eventual release. Good luck on the journey.

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Thank you for your kind and supportive words!

      Reply
  11. Kathie Ballantyne

    Easy to read and entertaining! Love the last line!

    Reply
  12. Carol

    Writing has been calling to you for years and I can see why. I love how I can hear your voice through the words on the page.

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Thanks for your support!!

      Reply
  13. Toni-Ann

    Emotional ups and downs. I love that you make me laugh out loud while reading your stories! You have the touch my friend. You touch hearts. I pray you keep writing. You are destined to be an author… hooking or not! ?

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Toni, thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!

      Reply
  14. Dorene Ricci

    Every word you write seems to bring a sense of connection, the memories of your childhood with your Grandmother, as well as your desire to write a memoir, and of course your words of how you felt being a business owner, I have always felt connected to you and now as I read your story I know why.

    Reply
    • Maureen

      Thank you Doreen for your eloquent words, you should write!!

      Reply
      • Dorene Ricci

        I have been told my many who know my story that I should write a book, I’m just not sure how I would put it all together properly, maybe someday I will get the courage to,just as you have.

        Reply
  15. Dorene

    I loved reading this, perfectly put together as well as striking a connection with me and I’m sure many others as well, I look forward to reading more.

    Reply
  16. Dianne

    Maureen, such a talent you have. I’m mesmerized and wanting more. I’m happy to hear the joy writing is giving you.

    Reply
  17. Maureen

    Thanks so much!

    Reply

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